written by: Daniel Currie Introduction In every family’s tapestry, the strongest threads are stitched with communication. Those daily exchanges—whether laughter-filled or heavy with tension—hold the power to shape trust, connection, and resilience. Today, I’m bringing you a real story, straight from my own home. It’s simple, relatable, maybe even trivial at first glance. But hidden inside is the heartbeat of parenting: how we communicate with our kids. The Story Unfolds: Transmission Sent “Hey! Devan!” I called one sunny afternoon, mixing anticipation with that classic parental concern. My son, standing at the threshold of adulthood yet still my boy in so many ways, was zipping in and out of the house. “Yup, Dad?” he replied, his deeper voice reminding me how fast the years are slipping. I chuckled and said, “Don’t forget to shake out the guinea pig blankets before tossing them in the wash.” I pictured tiny hay pieces gumming up our laundry system, hoping my words stuck. The Assurance: Transmission Received “Yeah, sure, Dad. Got it!” he called back. A quick promise, the kind we parents hear daily. The Missed Connection: Transmission Failed Hours later, as I opened the washer, there it was: hay clinging to the drum, with the blankets moved to the dryer side. Classic teenage follow-through. A small slip, sure—but one that spoke volumes about how easily wires get crossed. Reflection & Understanding Standing there with a lint roller in one hand and my thoughts in the other, I had to ask myself: Did I make my expectations clear? Did I rush my delivery? This wasn’t just about dirty laundry—it was about whether my words were connecting deeply enough to inspire action. A Parent’s Needs Parenting isn’t just about being heard—it’s about being understood. That moment reminded me how vital it is to double-check that Devan isn’t just nodding along but actually processing what I’m saying. Even in small tasks, we’re building habits of connection that prepare us for bigger conversations. A Success Hidden in the Mess Here’s the truth: I trust my son. He’s proven time and again that when it matters, he listens and follows through. This slip-up didn’t shake that trust; instead, it reminded me that communication is an ongoing project. We don’t “arrive” at perfect parenting—we practice it daily. The Bottom Line Our family’s strength doesn’t lie in perfect exchanges. It lies in knowing that even when the signal gets fuzzy, the channel stays open. My son feels safe to talk, I feel safe to guide, and that mutual comfort is the real win. Communication in Parenting: Lessons for Parents Here’s what this laundry-day lesson taught me: Clarity First: Say it simply, directly, and confirm understanding. Feedback Matters: Ask, “What did you hear me say?” to bridge gaps. Consistency Builds Trust: Open dialogue makes the big talks easier down the line. Heartfelt Conclusion Parenting isn’t about transmitting orders. It’s about weaving threads of connection—ensuring that our kids don’t just hear us, but truly feel understood. If you walk away with one thing, let it be this: the magic isn’t in talking, it’s in connecting. One small conversation at a time, we’re raising strong, thoughtful humans. Love it? Share it! 👌 (Links below—make sure they know where it came from!) #MentalHorizons #TeenMentalHealth #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Mental Health & Parenting Blogs ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally Written on: March 22, 2023 Most Recent Update on: November 3, 2025

written by: Daniel Currie Introduction: Parenting Teens and Mental Health Journeys Ahead Hey there! I'm Dan, better known as CurlyStache. If you're navigating the wild waters of parenting teens, raising teens, or just exploring teen mental health and everyday family wellness, you're in good company. Strap in; it's a rollercoaster ride—scary, thrilling, and intense, but ultimately, it's an exhilarating journey that's over before you know it. What started here with “Guiding Teenagers” has grown into Mental Horizons, a space for every parent, teen, and even everyday people looking for hope and strength in their mental health journey. CurlyStache: The Man Behind the Parenting Teens & Everyday Mental Health Blogs Hailing from upstate New York, I'm not just the guy with the ever-changing curly or pencil mustache. When I first started this venture, I was your blue-collar broadband cable guy by day, and by night, I morphed into your go-to parenting teens blogger. That double life was the seed that grew into Guiding Teenagers—and today, it’s branched into Mental Horizons. So, what transformed me from a cable guy into a parenting advocate? It all started with a simple, yet profound, four-word question from my daughter. That moment didn’t just spark a blog—it planted the roots of everything that would later become Mental Horizons, a hub for teen mental health and family wellness. The Question that Sparked the GuidingTeenagers Universe It was a lazy Saturday afternoon—one of those perfect moments for a father-daughter chat over my zillionth cup of coffee. Out of the blue, my 13-year-old daughter, Khloé, hit me with, "Dad, what's a blog?" What began as a fun fact-finding mission via our Google hub turned into a realization: this was my calling. Looking back, that moment was bigger than either of us could ever imagine—it sparked Guiding Teenagers and planted the roots of what is now Mental Horizons, a space for parenting teens, family mental health, and breaking the stigma of mental wellness. The Platform: Real Talk About Parenting Teens As my daydreams turned into reality, I realized parenting teens was exactly where I needed to focus. Growing up in an authoritarian household and now riding the rollercoaster of fatherhood, I felt drawn to share and shape these experiences into the foundation of CurlyStache, which later evolved into Guiding Teenagers, and now Mental Horizons with my partner, Jacasa. Today, the platform has widened its lens: it’s still rooted in raising teens, but it now stretches into family mental health support, digital detox ideas, and everyday mental wellness resets. GuidingTeenagers: It's Parenting Teens Mission Our mission with Guiding Teenagers was straightforward: deliver real-life tales from the parenting trenches and blend practical advice with solid facts. These blogs are your sanctuary for discussing the gritty realities of raising teens. I brought the same street-smart, blue-collar integrity to our conversations that I got from my former day job, climbing up and down telephone poles. Now, through Mental Horizons, that same grit fuels a broader mission: supporting parents, teens, and everyday people in their mental health journeys—breaking the stigma, sharing digital detox resets, and keeping the conversation real. Guiding Teenagers Grew Up: Mental Horizons Is For Everyone’s Mental Wellness What began as Guiding Teenagers—a space rooted in parenting teens—has grown into something bigger. Like a tree with deep roots and new branches, Mental Horizons stretches out to support everyone navigating the ups and downs of teen mental health and family mental wellness. The mission is bigger now: to support anyone—parents, teens, or everyday people—to find hope, healing, and strength. Because when we grow together, the horizon gets brighter for us all. CTRL_control: Keeping Control When Parenting Teens Heats Up I'm not here to preach or claim I've got all the answers—far from it. I'm here to share the successes and stumbles of parenting teens and mental health—sharing both education and experience to help you navigate. At Guiding Teenagers, we dove headfirst into the tricky situations of raising teens, not just skirting around them. This blog is all about building a community where every kind of parent, whether you're a CTRL+ALT+Dad or a CTRL+ALT+Mom, can find a bit of solace and a lot of support. Together, we navigate the challenging waters of family mental health, sharing insights and laughs along the way. As we grew into Mental Horizons, we took that same mission further: breaking the stigma of mental health, encouraging digital detox, and proving that “keeping control” sometimes means admitting when life feels out of control. ALT_alternate: Creative Solutions for Sticky Situations Ever find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place? I've been there. Teen mental health requires agility and innovation—especially when parenting teens. It means getting creative—like figuring out how to curb phone time at dinner or navigating tough conversations. All of our blogs are packed with resourceful, decisive strategies to support your journey, and now Mental Horizons takes it further, offering creative approaches for digital detox for families, affordable mental wellness activities, and real-life strategies that strengthen both parents and teens. DAD_conclusion: You Are Not Alone in Parenting Teens Let's wrap this up with an essential reminder: Whether you've been around since the early days of GuidingTeenagers or you are a first-time reader here at Mental Horizons, it is more than just a blog—it's a community. It's a spot to relax, educate, share, chew on some W-GUM, and soak in mental health stories that remind us we’re all in this together. Our core mission here at Mental Horizons is to break the stigma of mental health, encourage honesty, and remind us that no matter where we are—parent, teen, or everyday person—we don’t walk this road alone. Do you have a story to share (guest bloggers are always welcome!), a tip to pass along, or a topic you're eager to discuss? Drop a comment or shoot me an email. This space is as much yours as it is mine. Love it? Share it! 👌 (Links below—make sure they know where it came from!) #MentalHorizons #TeenMentalHealth #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Mental Health & Parenting Blogs ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally Written on: March 18, 2023 Most Recent Update on: November 3, 2025

written by: Daniel Currie Introduction to Teen Screen Time Management Navigating screen time for teens in today's digital age is a significant challenge for many parents—practically a nightmare at times. As digital devices become more essential in everyday life, it's crucial to find a balance that promotes and boosts our teens' well-being while allowing them to benefit from technology. Enter screen time management. I've put together a simple, fundamental guide exploring effective strategies for managing screen time to help you support your teen in developing and maintaining healthy digital habits. Table of Contents ►Understanding the Consequences of Too Much Screen Time ►Screen Time Trends: What the Latest Data Reveals ►Proven Strategies for Effective Screen Time Management ►Balancing Digital and Physical Activities for Teens ►Expert Tips on Screen Time Management for Teens ►Online Free Resources ►Must-Have Material Resources ►FAQs ►Conclusion Understanding the Consequences of Too Much Screen Time First off, it's vital to understand that excessive screen time can lead to several negative impacts on our teens, even if only minor impacts initially. These include physical, mental, and emotional health issues. For example, I noticed when Khloé, my spirited teen, spent too much time on her phone, her mood and sleep patterns became more erratic compared to after I put simple limits on her phone usage. Research and studies have shown that prolonged use of screens can be associated with sleep disturbances, eye strain, and reduced physical activity. Additionally, it can contribute to increased anxiety, depression, and social isolation. Despite texts showing that social isolation is affected, I personally struggle with that because screens have become the number one way of communication with peers. The jury is still out... Regardless, understanding these consequences is the first step in implementing effective screen time management strategies. Screen Time Trends: What the Latest Data Reveals Data and trends show screen time is only getting worse, causing parents to cry out for some type of screen time management solution. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly 38% of parents and teens frequently argue about phone use. I suppose it's not too surprising if you've ever visited my house for more than a day at a time. The data also reveals that parents of younger teens (13-14 years old) are more likely to monitor their children's screen, limiting it as needed, than parents of older teens. It made sense. A good buddy of mine implemented screen time limits early on with his 13-year-old. He explained to me his reasoning and how it seemed to help. He went on to state it led to fewer fights or conflicts about their phone use since everybody involved knew exactly what was expected. This trend emphasizes the importance of early intervention in developing healthy screen habits. Proven Strategies for Effective Screen Time Management Effectively achieving screen time management strategies will require unwavering dedication to the cause. This includes establishing crystal clear guidelines for your teen while encouraging or fostering healthy digital habits. Here are the top four proven strategies to help you become as effective as possible with screen time management: Set Screen Time Limits Establish daily or weekly screen time limits to ensure a balanced routine. Suggest Offline Activities Encourage your teen to participate in activities that do not involve screens, such as reading, sports, or hobbies. Getting involved with them is a great idea, too! Setup Tech-Free Zones or Times Designate specific areas of the home, such as the dining room, as tech-free zones. In addition, encourage certain times in a room to be tech-free, like the living room in the evening for family game night. "Follow the Leader" Children and teens always respond to actions over words. This is when "practice what you preach" is essential. Show them you strongly believe in what you tell them: limit your own screen time. We created a tech-free zone in our dining room to show my children the importance of this and to ensure they see I follow the same rules. This further enriches family interaction during meals and reduces overall screen time. Balancing Digital and Physical Activities for Teens Finding a balance between digital and physical activities is crucial for your teens' overall well-being. Encourage participation in sports, urge outdoor activities, and suggest social interactions that do not involve screens. This balance helps maintain physical health while fostering social skills and emotional health, reducing potential negative impacts from excessive screen time. For example, it proved to be a blessing when I enrolled my middle teen in a local soccer league. The soccer league not only reduced his screen time (one of my main goals!), but he also built new friendships, found a new passion, and became a physical fitness beast. It was clearly a win-win! Expert Tips on Screen Time Management for Teens Now that we've heard my piece, backed with facts, what are other experts saying we should do about screen time management? Here are several tips for managing screen time effectively, as seen by other professionals: Communicate Openly Discuss the importance of balanced screen use with your teens and involve them in setting screen time rules. Use Technology Wisely Leverage parental control apps and settings to monitor and manage screen time. Encourage Self-Regulation Teach teens to be mindful of their screen use and to take breaks regularly. As stated in many other blogs, I have always advocated for communication and offering wisdom, which is practically a sacred rule in our household. While I do not utilize monitoring tools (there is no need to currently, and there is no reason not to trust my teens), a few of my colleagues do utilize parental control apps that help monitor their teen's screen time to ensure they take regular breaks, swearing by it. They have all seen a significant reduction in screen-related stresses, confirming the importance of breaks. Regardless, every family is different, and only you can make the right choice for your teens. Resources for Better Screen Time Management I have included some resources, easily accessed online (links included), to further help you manage your teen's screen time effectively while offering parental insight: Common Sense Media Offers reviews and advice on age-appropriate media. American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Provides guidelines and statistics on screen time for children and teens. Family Media Plan Tool: Helps families create personalized media plans. Must-Have Resources for Screen Time Management In addition, I would like to offer 4 pieces of literature that go in-depth further, in addition to 5 FAQs below. Each of these pieces specializes in ways to navigate the digital world and social media, elaborating on the essential parenting dos and don'ts: The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place by Andy Crouch This book provides practical advice on managing technology in the home. It encourages families to create tech-free spaces and times. Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World [2nd Edition] by Devorah Heitner Devorah Heitner offers a comprehensive guide for parents to help their children navigate the digital world responsibly. Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology by Diana Graber This book is filled with insights and tips on how to raise children who are tech-savvy but not tech-dependent. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World by Cal Newport Although not exclusively about parenting, this book provides valuable insights into how reducing digital clutter can improve overall well-being. Common Questions About Screen Time Management (FAQs!) How much screen time is too much? Experts recommend limiting recreational screen time to no more than two hours per day. How can I enforce screen time limits without causing conflicts? Involve your teen in creating a screen time plan and establish consistent, reasonable rules. Are educational screens okay? While educational content can be beneficial, balancing it with offline activities is still vital. What are some signs that my teen is spending too much time on screens? Signs include decreased physical activity, trouble sleeping, irritability, and declining academic performance. How can I encourage my teen to engage in more offline activities? Offer a variety of offline activities that align with their interests, such as sports, arts, or volunteering—get involved with them! In Conclusion: Encouraging Healthy Digital Habits in Teens Helping your teen develop healthy digital habits is all about consistent effort and open communication. Encourage them to take regular breaks from screens, making sure offline activities come first. By setting a good example and being supportive, you will guide your teen toward a balanced approach to screen time that boosts their well-being and overall growth. Stick to these tips and strategies, and you'll be well on your way to helping your teen manage their screen time and lead a healthier, more balanced life. Love it? Share it! (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally Written on: May 29, 2024 References How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2024/03/11/how-teens-and-parents-approach-screen-time/ Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/01/25/parents-young-adult-children-and-the-transition-to-adulthood/ Peer pressure or influence: pre-teens and teenagers https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/behaviour/peers-friends-trends/peer-influence Social media brings benefits and risks to teens. Psychology can help identify a path forward https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/09/protecting-teens-on-social-media#:~:text=URL%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fwww.apa.org%2Fmonitor%2F2023%2F09%2Fprotecting,100 Ratings and Reviews Parents Trust https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ Teens Prefer Screens To People https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/teens-prefer-screens-people-aaron-paquette/

You checked. You remember checking. You even remember the little details. The way your hand moved. What you saw. What you told yourself afterward. Everything was fine. Then, halfway through something completely unrelated, a thought slips in. But what if you missed something? You try to dismiss it. You know what you did. There shouldn't be anything left to question. Except now you're questioning whether you remember it correctly. Maybe you were distracted. Maybe you only think you checked. Maybe you're remembering yesterday instead of today. So you check again. And for a moment, the feeling settles. You can breathe. Return to what you were doing. Get on with your day. Until another thought arrives. But how can you be absolutely sure? And just like that, you're back where you started. The strange part is that you may know how unreasonable the doubt sounds. You may recognize that you're asking yourself the same question you've already answered. You may be frustrated, embarrassed, even angry with yourself for being unable to leave it alone. But knowing that doesn't necessarily quiet the feeling. Because sometimes the problem isn't that you don't have an answer. It's that your mind won't let the answer be enough. For someone living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), this can become a relentless cycle of doubt, distress, temporary relief, and returning uncertainty. A loop that doesn't always make sense from the outside. And one that can be exhausting to live inside. When an Answer Doesn't Stay Answered Most of us have experienced a moment when our mind refuses to leave something alone. Maybe you sent a message and immediately wondered whether it sounded rude. Maybe you left for work and questioned whether you'd locked the door. Maybe you replayed an awkward conversation while brushing your teeth that night, thinking of everything you should have said differently. Usually, the thought eventually loses its grip. You remind yourself that the door is locked. You accept that the conversation wasn't perfect. You decide the message probably sounded fine. You move on. But imagine your mind treating that same question as unfinished business, no matter how many times you've answered it. You checked the door. But what if you didn't turn the lock completely? You remember turning it. But what if that memory is from yesterday? You checked again. But what if you were so distracted by your anxiety that you didn't notice something? Suddenly, you're standing in front of a perfectly ordinary door, arguing with a possibility that refuses to go away. This is one way OCD can make everyday life unexpectedly difficult. The unwanted thought is called an obsession. It might involve fear, doubt, an upsetting mental image, or an uncomfortable sense that something isn't right. The action someone feels driven to perform in response is called a compulsion. It might be checking, repeating, seeking reassurance, or doing something entirely inside their mind. And while compulsions often bring some relief, that relief may not last. The door is locked. The answer has been given. The person may even know there's no reasonable need to continue. But their mind has started asking a different question. What if knowing isn't enough? During OCD Awareness Week, October 11–17, it's worth looking at this part of the condition, because OCD is far more complicated than the familiar jokes about neat desks, perfectly arranged shelves, or people who like things done a particular way. For many, the struggle isn't about wanting everything to be perfect. It's about feeling unable to leave something unresolved. The Relief That Keeps Expiring Picture someone getting ready to leave the house. Their shoes are on. Their bag is packed. They're already running a few minutes late. They check the stove. Off. They check the front door. Locked. Then they walk to the car. Halfway there, a thought interrupts. What if I left one burner on? They hesitate. They can almost picture the stove. They remember looking at it. They know they checked. But now there's a small, uncomfortable doubt. They go back inside. Everything is off. Relief. Back outside. Into the car. Start the engine. Then another thought. What if I looked at the wrong burner? And the entire morning starts shifting around a question that should have been settled ten minutes ago. By the time they finally leave, they're upset with themselves. They might be late for work. They may even promise that tomorrow will be different. But tomorrow comes with its own doubts. That's part of what makes the cycle so difficult. Checking again may genuinely make the person feel better for a moment. The anxiety eases. The danger seems to disappear. Life becomes manageable again. So when that familiar discomfort returns, checking feels like the sensible way to get relief. Except the relief keeps expiring. The NHS explains this cycle as a common pattern in OCD: an unwanted thought causes distress, a compulsion temporarily eases it, and the distress eventually returns. It's important to understand that OCD doesn't always revolve around danger or searching for certainty. Some people experience a powerful need for things to feel balanced, complete, or just right. But whether the person is trying to prevent something terrible or quiet a feeling they cannot comfortably explain, the result can be remarkably similar. They spend an enormous amount of energy trying to reach a feeling that won't stay. And what makes it worse is that they may understand perfectly well what's happening. They just haven't figured out how to step out of it. The Ritual Nobody Can See Imagine sitting across from someone at dinner. They're answering questions, passing the mashed potatoes, laughing at something somebody said. Nothing seems particularly unusual. But while everyone else is talking about their day, that person is still replaying something that happened that morning. A conversation with a coworker. A sentence they wish they'd worded differently. A strange expression on somebody's face. Did I offend them? What exactly did I say? Was I being dishonest? What if I hurt their feelings and they didn't tell me? They start reconstructing the conversation. What was said first? What happened afterward? Did the coworker smile? Was that a genuine smile, or were they just being polite? Their attention drifts away from dinner. Somebody asks a question. "Sorry, what?" They answer, smile, and return to the conversation. But the one inside their head never really stopped. This is something people often miss about OCD. Not every ritual involves washing, touching, arranging, or checking something another person can see. Some compulsions happen quietly, without a single visible movement. Mental reviewing. Silently repeating phrases. Counting. Trying to replace one thought with another. Searching through memories for reassurance that something bad didn't happen. A person might spend an entire afternoon examining a moment that lasted five seconds. And when somebody notices they're distracted, the explanation may sound simple. "Sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind." Technically, that's true. But it doesn't come close to describing how exhausting the experience can be. Imagine having to carry out your normal responsibilities while repeatedly being pulled into an argument you never wanted to start. The groceries still need putting away. The kids still need dinner. The assignment is still due tomorrow. Your boss still expects an answer. Life doesn't stop just because your thoughts are consuming so much of your attention. And sometimes, by the end of the day, you're exhausted without being able to point to anything unusual you actually did. That's one reason OCD can remain invisible, even to people who spend their lives alongside someone experiencing it. The ritual may not be in their hands. It may be in the hours of thought they can't seem to put down. When Your Own Thoughts Frighten You There is another part of OCD that people can find especially difficult to describe. Sometimes the unwanted thought isn't about a door, a stove, or a mistake at work. Sometimes it's something deeply upsetting. A frightening image. A thought about harm. A question about morality, faith, relationships, or something completely at odds with the person's values. Imagine a loving parent who suddenly experiences an unwanted, disturbing thought involving their child. The thought horrifies them. They don't want it. They don't agree with it. They may feel sick just knowing it crossed their mind. But instead of recognizing it as an unwanted thought, they begin searching for an explanation. Why would I think something like that? Does this mean there's something wrong with me? What if having the thought means something about who I really am? Now the original thought has become a question about their character. So they examine it. And themselves. And every feeling that followed. They may repeatedly seek proof that they are a good person, avoid ordinary situations that trigger the thoughts, or silently test their reactions to make sure they still feel the way they believe they should. From the outside, nobody sees the investigation. They see a parent making breakfast, driving to school, answering messages, and going through the motions of everyday life. Inside, that parent may be terrified by a thought they never wanted. This is where shame can become particularly isolating. A person might be frightened to describe what they're experiencing because they worry somebody will misunderstand. They may imagine the reaction of a spouse, a friend, or even a therapist. What if they think I want these thoughts? So they say nothing. And continue trying to prove something to themselves that the OCD won't allow them to feel certain about. Here's an important distinction: having an unwanted intrusive thought does not, by itself, mean someone wants to act on it. A thought isn't automatically an intention. Nor is every disturbing thought evidence of OCD. Context matters, and trained professionals can help distinguish intrusive obsessions from other experiences or genuine safety concerns. But imagine the relief of finally understanding that an upsetting thought doesn't automatically tell the truth about your character. Not because that understanding instantly makes the thought disappear. But because you no longer have to treat every thought as a confession. The Cost of an Ordinary Day OCD can take things from a person that don't appear particularly dramatic at first. Ten minutes before work. Another twenty before bed. A conversation they couldn't fully enjoy because their attention kept drifting somewhere else. An afternoon spent asking the same question in different ways. Plans canceled because getting ready felt impossible. A favorite place quietly avoided because something there might trigger another round of unwanted thoughts. These little losses can accumulate. Maybe somebody stops cooking because the stove creates too much anxiety. Maybe they spend so long rewriting messages that staying in touch becomes exhausting. Maybe bedtime turns into a series of rituals, and what should have been a chance to rest becomes another responsibility to finish. Eventually, the person may begin arranging their day around what they fear will happen inside their own mind. And the world can start getting smaller. Not because they've lost interest in living their life. But because ordinary experiences have become tangled with distress they don't know how to manage. This is also where the difference between everyday habits and OCD matters. Being careful isn't automatically a symptom. Checking a lock isn't a diagnosis. Having a preference for cleanliness or order doesn't mean someone has a mental health condition. What makes OCD different is how intrusive and distressing the experience can become, how difficult the compulsions are to resist, and how much they interfere with life. The National Institute of Mental Health explains that OCD symptoms can consume significant time and interfere with everyday activities and relationships. And even when the person knows their fear doesn't make sense, that insight doesn't automatically give them control over it. Somebody can understand that the stove is off and still feel compelled to check. They can recognize that their memory is probably accurate and still struggle to trust it. They can know that they've already apologized and still feel an overwhelming urge to apologize again. That's why advice like "just stop worrying about it" can feel so empty. It's answering a problem the person is already painfully aware of. If they could simply switch the cycle off, they probably would have done so long before anyone suggested it. When Someone You Love Gets Pulled Into the Loop Now imagine being on the other side. Your partner asks whether you're upset with them. You say no. They ask again a little later. You reassure them. Explain that everything is fine. Maybe give them a hug. For a while, things seem better. Then the question comes back. "But you seemed annoyed earlier." You explain that you were tired. "But are you sure it's not something I said?" And suddenly you're having the same conversation for the fourth time. You love this person. You don't want them hurting. But you're beginning to feel frustrated. You might wonder why your answers aren't good enough. Why they can't just believe you. Why something so small has become the subject of an entire evening. From their side, the experience may be completely different. They might believe every answer you give them. For a moment. Then another possibility appears, and the reassurance no longer feels convincing. So they ask again. Neither person necessarily wants this conversation to continue. Yet both keep getting drawn back into it. When reassurance-seeking becomes a compulsion, even loving responses can unintentionally help maintain the cycle. Mental health professionals sometimes use the term family accommodation to describe situations where loved ones become involved in compulsions or change their own behavior to help someone avoid OCD-related distress. It usually comes from a caring place. Someone you love is suffering. You know how to make them feel better, at least temporarily. Why wouldn't you? But there's a difference between supporting someone through discomfort and helping them perform the same ritual repeatedly. That distinction can be difficult for families to navigate. Nobody wants to become cold or dismissive. And someone experiencing OCD shouldn't be expected to manage everything alone. The goal is to find ways of offering compassion without automatically participating in the compulsion. Instead of supplying another guarantee, support might sound like: I know this feels frightening. I'm here with you, but I don't think answering that question again is going to help you in the long run. It may feel uncomfortable for both people. And it isn't something families should have to figure out through arguments or guesswork. The International OCD Foundation's family guidance emphasizes understanding OCD and gradually changing accommodation patterns, ideally with professional guidance. Love doesn't have to mean providing an endless supply of certainty. Sometimes it means learning how to stay beside someone while they practice living without it. Learning to Leave a Question Unanswered So what happens when someone begins working toward recovery? Do they simply decide to stop checking? Force themselves to ignore every thought? Tell themselves they're being unreasonable until the anxiety disappears? Not exactly. One of the most established treatments for OCD is a specialized form of cognitive behavioral therapy called exposure and response prevention, or ERP. The name is technical. The idea behind it connects directly to everything we've been talking about. With the guidance of a trained professional, someone gradually practices encountering situations or thoughts that trigger their OCD without performing the compulsions they ordinarily rely on for relief. Think back to the person checking the stove. They've already made sure it's off. Their mind starts asking them to check again. Usually, they would return to the kitchen. Then maybe return again. In an appropriately planned ERP exercise, they might practice completing one normal safety check and allowing the uncertainty that follows to exist without adding another OCD-driven check. At first, that can be incredibly uncomfortable. Their mind may offer all the familiar arguments. What if you missed something? Wouldn't one more check be safer? What if this is the one time you're wrong? But with practice, they can learn something that repeating the ritual never gave them much opportunity to discover. They can experience uncertainty without automatically obeying it. That doesn't mean the feared event is impossible. Nobody can guarantee every outcome in life. And ERP isn't about abandoning ordinary safety precautions or forcing people into frightening situations without their consent. It's a collaborative treatment, tailored to the person and their symptoms. The same principle can apply to mental rituals, although those may be harder to notice. Someone may practice allowing an intrusive thought to pass without mentally reviewing it for proof, replacing it with a safer thought, or asking another person to reassure them. Sometimes the thought remains uncomfortable. Sometimes the anxiety doesn't disappear as quickly as they'd like. The work is learning that discomfort doesn't always require an immediate ritual. The International OCD Foundation identifies ERP as a first-line psychological treatment for OCD. Medication can also be helpful, often alongside therapy. The right approach depends on the person and should be discussed with a qualified healthcare professional. Recovery isn't about proving every frightening thought wrong. It's about changing the hold those thoughts and the compulsions have on someone's life. Progress Doesn't Always Feel Peaceful One of the difficult things about recovery is that progress doesn't necessarily feel the way people expect. We tend to imagine improvement as relief. Less anxiety. Fewer upsetting thoughts. A mind that finally settles down. And those changes can happen. But sometimes progress means doing something ordinary while feeling anything but comfortable. Walking away from a door without checking it a fourth time. Sending a message without spending an hour examining every word. Allowing an uncomfortable thought to exist without spending the evening trying to cancel it out. A person may feel anxious while doing all of those things. They may want desperately to return to the old ritual. And yet, with the right treatment and support, choosing not to respond to that urge can become part of meaningful progress. That's not a particularly glamorous version of recovery. There may be no dramatic breakthrough. No morning when they wake up and discover every intrusive thought has disappeared. There may be difficult weeks, setbacks, and periods when old symptoms become louder again. But there may also be changes that matter enormously. A trip to the grocery store that doesn't take an extra hour. An evening spent enjoying a movie rather than mentally reviewing the day. A conversation that ends when the conversation actually ends. Maybe a parent can put their child to bed and enjoy the quiet afterward without feeling compelled to examine every troubling thought that passed through their mind. These are ordinary moments. That's precisely why they matter. OCD can interfere with so many ordinary parts of living that reclaiming them can feel anything but ordinary. If You Recognize Yourself in This Maybe you've been reading and recognizing experiences you've never had a good way to explain. The thoughts that return even when you don't want them. The questions you feel compelled to answer. The things you repeat privately because the discomfort of not doing them feels too difficult. Or maybe you're thinking about somebody you love. Someone who asks the same question repeatedly. Who seems distracted when nothing appears to be happening. Who becomes upset over things that seem small from where you're standing. Recognizing yourself or someone else in an article doesn't automatically mean OCD is involved. There are many reasons people experience anxiety, intrusive thoughts, repeated behaviors, or difficulty tolerating uncertainty. But if these experiences are taking significant time, causing distress, or interfering with daily life, they're worth discussing with a qualified mental health professional. You don't need to walk into that conversation with all the terminology figured out. You might simply say: I keep getting thoughts I don't want, and I feel like I have to do things to make the feeling go away. Or: I know I've already checked, but I can't stop feeling like I need to check again. Those are perfectly reasonable places to begin. And if you're supporting someone else, try to understand what they're experiencing before assuming you know why they're behaving a certain way. You don't have to agree with every fear to acknowledge that the distress is real. You don't have to solve every doubt to offer genuine support. And you don't have to become responsible for managing another person's compulsions to show that you care. Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can offer is a willingness to understand a struggle you cannot see. The Loop Doesn't Need Another Answer Think back to that moment at the beginning. The checking. The memory of checking. The brief relief. And then the doubt that arrived as though none of the earlier answers counted. From the outside, it might seem obvious what the person should do. Stop checking. Move on. Trust what they already know. But from inside the loop, those simple instructions can feel anything but simple. The fear may be exhausting. The need for certainty may feel urgent. The possibility of leaving something unresolved may seem almost unbearable. And the person may have spent years believing the only way to feel better was to finally find the right answer. One more check. One more explanation. One more moment of reassurance. One more attempt to make the uncertainty disappear. But sometimes the way forward isn't finding an answer that can never be questioned. It's learning, gradually and with the right support, that not every question requires another response. That a thought can exist without becoming a command. That an uncomfortable feeling can be present without determining what happens next. That uncertainty doesn't always have to be settled before life can continue. For someone living with OCD, that may take real work. It may require treatment, patience, setbacks, and support from people who understand that the struggle isn't simply a matter of willpower. But the loop isn't the whole person. There is still a life beyond the checking, reviewing, repeating, and worrying. Still a conversation worth having. A meal worth enjoying. A place worth going. A moment worth experiencing without having to solve every possible thing that might go wrong. And maybe the next time that familiar doubt arrives, it won't receive another hour of attention. Maybe the question will still be there. Maybe the discomfort will be there too. But the person will keep moving. Not because they finally found certainty. Because they're learning they don't have to wait for it. The invisible loop may ask the same question again. That doesn't mean it has to get another answer. Beyond the OCD cycle: Room for everyday life The OCD cycle can take up so much space that ordinary moments feel far away. With understanding and support, there can be more room for connection, small joys, and the life unfolding around us.

written by: Daniel Currie Introduction Father's Day 2024 is just around the corner, offering a perfect chance to show appreciation and love for the incredible dads and father figures who enrich our lives. From timeless traditions to the latest trending gift ideas, this guide covers all you need to make this year's celebration truly remarkable. Let's dive into the significance of Father's Day, its storied past, and some creative ways to honor dads everywhere. Table of Contents ►The Importance of Father's Day ►Traditions and History of Father's Day in the U.S. ►5 Traditions Throughout Other Cultures ►Creative Ways to Celebrate Father's Day 2024 ►Unique Gift Ideas for Father's Day 2024 ►Top Trending Father's Day Ideas in 2024 on Amazon ►Wrapping Up The Importance of Father's Day Father's Day holds a special place in our hearts as we celebrate the dedication, love, and sacrifices that fathers make daily. The bond between a father and his children is unique, built on countless shared experiences, wisdom, and unwavering support. This day allows us to reflect on and express our gratitude for these men's profound impact on our lives and communities. Traditions and History of Father's Day in the U.S. Father's Day in the United States has its roots in the early 20th century, with the first widespread celebration occurring in 1910, thanks to the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd. She sought to honor her father, a Civil War veteran who raised six children as a single parent. Officially recognized in 1972, this day continues to be celebrated with gifts, family gatherings, and heartfelt messages expressing appreciation for fathers. 5 Traditions Throughout Other Cultures Father's Day is observed worldwide in various ways, reflecting diverse cultural practices: Germany: Known as "Vatertag," men—nearly any men—can celebrate letting their primitive selves bloom. Men get highly creative with their Bollerwagen (wooden wagons) decorated and loaded with provisions. They then wander in groups, drinking and celebrating, hiking, and enjoying each other's company. Brazil: Celebrated on the second Sunday of August, families gather for a special lunch tailored for their fathers. Following the father's special meal, it's customary for him to take advantage of the day and do the activity of his choice with his family by his side, spending quality time together. Thailand: On December 5th, the day coincides with the King's birthday, known as "The Father of the Nation" for his kindness and compassion towards his family and nation. In addition to ceremonies, parades, and the gifting of yellow flowers, all fathers can travel for free on the BTS (Bangkok Mass Transit System) when accompanied by their children! Japan: Although it is not a public or federal holiday, it is widely celebrated by all families with gifts and quality time together. Uniquely, most presents given to fathers are edible, such as wagashi (Japanese sweets), shochu (Japanese distilled beverage), and sake (Japanese rice wine). Traditionally, most were store-bought or handmade; since the rise of online shopping, gift boxes filled with combinations of treats and items have become more accessible and acceptable. South Africa: Like many cultures, the day is tailored to fathers. In Cape Town, many family-friendly businesses allow fathers free entry for Father's Day. Commonly, families often enjoy the beloved South African pastime, "braai" (barbecue), together at home or with others, honoring fathers with food and quality time. Creative Ways to Celebrate Father's Day 2024 Backyard BBQ: Fire up the grill and prepare a feast of his favorite dishes. Enjoy a laid-back day filled with good food, laughter, and stories. Virtual Game Night: If you can't be together in person, organize a virtual game night with fun challenges and trivia. Memory Scrapbook: Create a scrapbook filled with photos, notes, and mementos that highlight cherished memories. Adventure Day: Plan an outdoor adventure, such as hiking, fishing, or a day at the beach, to enjoy quality time and nature. Cooking Class: Sign up for a cooking class together and learn to make his favorite dishes, bonding over shared culinary experiences. Unique Gift Ideas for Father's Day 2024 Customized Tools: Personalize tools with his name or a special message, combining practicality with sentiment. Gourmet Gift Basket: For a personalized touch, curate a basket with his favorite snacks, beverages, and treats. Tech Gadgets: From smart home devices to the latest in tech accessories, find gadgets that make his life easier and more fun. Experience Vouchers: Give the gift of an experience, like tickets to a sporting event, a concert, or a workshop. Personalized Apparel: Custom T-shirts, caps, or cufflinks with meaningful messages or designs can make great keepsakes. Top Trending Father's Day Ideas in 2024 on Amazon Smart Home Devices: The latest smart home devices, such as smart speakers or automated lighting systems, are perfect for tech-savvy dads. Fitness Equipment: Home workout gear, like adjustable dumbbells or smartwatches, helps dads stay fit and healthy. Outdoor Gear: High-quality camping gear, fishing equipment, or hiking accessories for the adventurous father. Self-Care Kits: Grooming kits and skincare sets tailored for men, providing a touch of luxury and care. Cooking Gadgets: Advanced kitchen gadgets like air fryers, smokers, or sous-vide cookers for dads who love to cook. Wrapping Up Father's Day 2024 offers a wonderful opportunity to create lasting memories and show your dad just how much he means to you. With countless ways to celebrate, from heartfelt traditions to innovative gifts, this year can be exceptional. Take the time to express your appreciation with love, care, and creativity, making him feel genuinely valued. Love it? Share it! (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally written on: May 21, 2024 References "Father's Day In Germany-It's NOTHING like American Father's Day!" https://germangirlinamerica.com/fathers-day-in-germany/ "How to Celebrate Father's Day in Brazil" https://www.portuguesepod101.com/blog/2019/07/19/fathers-day/ "Celebrating Fathers Day In Thailand" https://www.bkkkids.com/blog/celebrating-fathers-day-in-thailand/ "Marking The Calendar: When Is Father's Day In Japan 2024?" https://www.bokksu.com/blogs/news/the-essence-of-fatherhood-embracing-fathers-day-in-japan "Father's Day in Cape Town, South Africa!" https://www.littlepassports.com/blog/the-buzz/fathers-day-in-cape-town-south-africa/

written by: Daniel Currie Human Ink — Part I: Freedom vs. Forever Part 1 of a 2-post series on teens, tattoos, and real-world decision-making. Introduction Turning 18 hits like a lightning bolt: suddenly you can do big, adult things that felt impossible yesterday. Tattoos usually make the top five on that list. This is the story of my own “I could… but should I?” moment — and why I chose to hit pause. “Festina lente.” — Augustus (Translation: Make haste, slowly.) Freedom is a rush; wisdom is a pause. The real question is: can you wait long enough to test the “should I” inside every “I could” moment? Two Camps. One Birthday. When tattoos come up, most families split into two basecamps: “No ink, ever.” Your body is fine as-is; tattoos are a line you don’t cross. “Your body, your call.” You’re of age — more power to you. Most homes (mine included) live somewhere between those two. And then a kid turns 18… and that “somewhere” gets tested fast. 17.99875 Years Old: Three Hours to Freedom Upstate New York, 2001. I was the kid folks whispered would “head down the wrong path.” At 9 p.m. I was stuck home with a junior license that said no driving past 9 unless it’s work. At midnight, that would change. Legally, I’d be “my own man.” 18.00000: The Door Opens — and I Sprint Through It Midnight hits. Keys. Door. Stepdad blockade. Heated words. Car. Gone. First stop: pick up a friend. Second: gas station scratch-offs and smokes (back then, 18 was legal for tobacco; now it’s 21). Third: Denny’s. Steak & eggs. Endless coffee. Too many scratch-offs. Laughing at life at 2 a.m. It felt like someone handed me the master key to adulthood. For the first time, the night belonged to me. When the Adrenaline Wears Off: “Permanent” Starts to Mean Something The new freedoms spun a reel in my head — later curfews, more hours at work, more time with friends and my girl. Then the big one slid into frame: tattoos. I’d wanted one for months. No needle fear. No legal barrier. The only obstacle would’ve been the family conflict of biblical proportions it would cause. And yet… after the sugar-rush freedom faded, a quiet thought cut through the noise: permanent is permanent. If I was honest, 18-year-old me didn’t trust 18-year-old me with a lifetime decision. So I did the most un-18 thing imaginable. I waited. 😯 Why Waiting Was (Secretly) the Bold Move Not getting some body ink at 18 is one of my proudest choices. It wasn’t fear — it was future-proofing: My tastes were still shifting. I was impressionable — by friends, trends, and that new “I can do anything” high. The design I loved at midnight might not survive the sober light of 25… or 35. I still love tattoos. They’re art. They’re story. They’re identity. But they’re also forever, and forever deserves a clear head. My 5 Rules That Saved Me at 18 Sleep on it — repeatedly. If a design survives 60–90 days, it’s sturdier than a whim. Test the story. If you can’t explain the meaning in one sentence you’re proud of, it’s not ready. Future-you check. Picture 25-, 35-, and 55-year-old you wearing it at work, weddings, and with your kids. Still a yes? Placement is a promise. The more visible the spot, the more your future career and relationships inherit the choice. Pain is temporary; ink is not. Be braver about the timeline than the needle. Exceptions I Respect (Even at 18) Memorial tattoos for someone you truly loved. Lifetime loyalties (yes, some of us bleed green — go Packers 😏). Shared symbolism with deep meaning (e.g., siblings’ matching ink). Even then: slow down, plan the placement, and choose the artist like you choose a surgeon. Takeaway for Parents & Teens Parents: Lead with curiosity, not control. Ask about meaning, placement, and “five-years-from-now you.” Teens/Young Adults: Freedom hits fast. Great decisions come after the rush fades. Ready for the Next? Ready for the practical playbook? Read Part 2: Navigating Teen Tattoos: Support Over Suppression (Human Ink — Part II) Frequently Asked Questions Is 18 a good age for a first tattoo? It can be — if the design, placement, and meaning survive time. Waiting a few months and doing a future-you check saves a lot of regret. How do we talk about body art without a blow-up? Ask about meaning first, then placement and timeline. A respectful “not yet” plus a date to revisit beats a hard “no.” What’s a safe way to try before you buy? Use high-quality temporary tattoos, do a mirror test, and take photos in different outfits/lighting. Love it? Share it! 👌 (Links below—make sure they know where it came from!) #MentalHorizons #TeenMentalHealth #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Mental Health & Parenting Blogs ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally Written on: April 5, 2023 Most Recent Update on: Nov 3, 2025

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you need to catch up or skip ahead, the links below will take you to where you need to go! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI This 6-part series began in detail the last post with what it meant to be a neglectful parent. Today we will dive into what it means to parent via the permissive parenting style. Again, as in the previous articles, there is no right or wrong way to parent. Every family is unique on its own, and every family comes from a different origin, making it one of a kind. Never should any family fit such a strict formula originating from psychologists and professors; let this guide what you as a parent want to be or don't want to be. Nevertheless, let's take a quick review of the characteristics of permissive parenting (the first of the four permissive "PROper characteristics") before turning the nuts and bolts: Parent/child relationship is primarily child-driven (Over)indulges their child with rewards to dodge conflicts There are very few rules; they are very inconstantly enforced or not enforced at all Parents are very nourishing to their children but find it challenging to impose limitations and boundaries Jump to a section: >>> The Great PRO³ >>> PROcreate & PROtect >>> PROmise & PROmote >>> PROcrastinate, PROlong, & PROtest >>> PROper Characteristics >>> Conclusion The Great PRO³ As stated, professionals worldwide have come up with four primary classifications for parenting styles. This post will concentrate on the one called permissive parenting. Upon research and to better understand what it means to be a permissive parent, I have broken it into three subcategories that make up The Great PRO³. PROcreate & PROtect The only type of parenting that works with infants and babies is permissive parenting because we, as parents, do not know what our children are trying to tell us unless we can pick up on the cues. As a parent, in this instance, we must ensure the spotlight is brightly centered on them and tend to their every want and need because there is no established 2-way communication yet. New parents that want to PROcreate also have the instinct to want to PROtect their "mini-mes" at all costs. The fact that they want to do this while they cannot understand them (infants or babies who cannot speak yet) is exceptional parenting. As they become toddlers and young children, they learn speech vocabulary and other forms of formal communication skills that allow us parents to know what is wrong or what they want. Once that begins to happen, parents need to understand that the spotlight should start coming off of the child and become a "shared spotlight" between both parent and child since they can communicate now. The issue with the PROcreate & PROtect type parenting begins when a parent continues to "baby" a child when they are old enough to talk, understand, comprehend, and hold a conversation. The parent still sees them as their "baby"; however, this behavior hinders the child from growing emotionally. What will happen is that the child will expect particular (usually more complex) obstacles completed for them, or if they want to avoid doing a specific duty, the parent tends to allow it to slide. Generally speaking, to an outsider looking in, the child appears spoiled or lacks responsibility. As you continue to do for the child, it could lead to outbursts in a social setting, difficulties making friends, and expecting to be pampered by others, especially authority figures (i.e., teachers in school). PROmise & PROmote Permissive parenting starts with PROcreate & PROtect, as all parenting should; however, if overnourished and parenting becomes "overdone" as they get older whereas the parent is still doing or helping the child in ways they should learn to do or deal with on their own, it can lead to dependency issues. Dependence issues can become more prominent when they become teenagers, whereas parents continue to nurture their wants and needs. Parents will PROmise the road ahead with techniques such as the "lawn mower" parent (also known as "snow plow parenting" or "bulldozer parenting"), and parents will PROmote the child's desires with the Helicopter Parenting technique. Helicopter Parenting: As the name suggests, the parent is overly involved in the child or teen's life with a bird's eye view to navigate them around obstacles to ensure their success. Lawn Mower / Snow Plow / Bulldozer Parenting: The modern-day upgrade from Helicopter Parenting. Rather than watching and navigating, the child is the driver of the lawn mower (snow plow or bulldozer). Wherever they want to go in life, the parent actively mows or plows anything in its way to ensure no interfering, micromanaging, or arranging. Doing this protects the child or teen from adversity, disappointment, discomfort, and failure. Both the Helicopter and Lawn Mower parenting styles found in PROmise & PROmote are hazardous to the growth of a young teen. It can lead to dependency, as described already, and the inability to manage failures or conflicts as an adult. Depending on their self-esteem, this could lead to emotional stress, depression, or other mental problems. Furthermore, social cues and relationships could also be affected due to their possible narcissism from always being correct as a child and teen because the parents made sure of it. PROcrastinate, PROlong, & PROtest The final subtype of permissive parenting is the most common of the three. In this situation, the parent (or parents) love and adore their children with all their hearts; however, their tolerance for childish behaviors or attitudes is very little. The parent sets rules and chores and raises the child on a good set of morals- everything they can do to be the best parent they can be; the problem is the child disapproves of the rules, chores, and morals in place. Yes, in some instances, there are medical issues with the child (or even the parent), making it difficult for the child to maintain a certain level of calmness (or the parent dealing with stress, etc.). Still, in most cases, it is everyday family stress. After fighting and reasoning with their child, the parent finally PROtests and gives in to the child's demands or wants/needs. Even after that, it doesn't seem to change for the better, so after PROlonging and PROcrastinating, hoping for the best, the parent gives up, not wanting to deal with the child or teen's behavior. From that point on, the parent lets it go, and the child/teen gets what they want when they want. Because the parent does love the child very much and is just struggling with their behavior, they will occasionally (if not frequently) attempt to instill the rules, chores, or morals. Unfortunately, when the child or teen gets punished for not doing something or disobeying, the punishment goes without being enforced to avoid more conflict. PROper Characteristics Now that we looked into permissive parenting a little bit more, here are the final four PROper characteristics of permissive parenting that can help identify a parent raising a child in this manner: The child is always right: The child is always right if there is a difference between them and another person (regardless of trustworthiness or authority figure) unless there is proof, regardless of how ridiculous it may sound (in the case of "PROcrastinate, PROlong, & PROtest" models it is usually to avoid conflict with the child/teen) Excessive Pampering: What the child wants the child gets, whether it be for simple comforts, to further boost their self-esteem/self-worth, to get their way, or to get them to stop their temper tantrum Equals: When looking from the outside inward, it would almost appear as though the parent and child are equal instead of the parent parenting and the child being the child Sense of Arrogance: In the "PROcreate & PROtect" and "PROmise & PROmote" models, there is a sense of both parent and child having some arrogance or conceited (child: gets what they want / parent: paving the way, overly proud of their child and that they were able to pave the way for them) / in the "PROcrastinate, PROlong, & PROtest" model the child has the sense of arrogance or being conceited. In contrast, the parent feels defeated and disrespected. In Conclusion If you find yourself parenting in The Great PRO³ realm, nothing is wrong with that! It shows compassion for the young mind, including the ability to think for oneself, have imagination, and believe they can do whatever they want. However, this has some definite downfalls that need to be addressed, specifically concerning the child or teen becoming dependent on others. The trick is to take the precious pieces from this and mold them with your unique style ensuring you keep the unwanted pitfalls out! Continue Reading: PART IV - What THE? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you need to catch up or skip ahead, the links below will take you to where you need to go! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI We began a few days ago with this new mini-series, "What Kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict" Today, we will continue specifically covering the parental classification of neglectful parenting, also known as uninvolved parenting. As stated in the previous article, it certainly may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child. In "Part II - UNcubed," we will dive deeper into what that means. Remember, if you find yourself fitting the bill of an uninvolved parent, it DOES NOT mean you don't love and care for them. To briefly review the characteristics as described in Part I: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) Jump to a section: >>> The big UNcubed >>> UNinvolved & UNaware... to OUTsiders >>> UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders >>> UNinvolved & UNcaring >>> Conclusion The big UNcubed There are three significant subcategories within this parenting style, which I call UNCUBED. Families with parents who are (what psychologists and professionals deem) "neglectful towards their children" are typically broken up into three groups: the UNaware (OUT), the UNaware (IN), and the UNcaring. UNinvolved & UNaware... to OUTsiders The first is UNaware (OUT): UNaware to OUTsiders. It is better known as parenting by letting your child fall and making them get back up. The parent loves, cherishes, adores, and cares for their children- however, it often does not manifest as something visual to individuals outside the family and friends. In this situation, the child(ren) and parent(s) have a bond as strong as steel, and they know they would give the shirts off their back for one other. This category is unique because, within the family, everybody is close and sturdy as a rock, a whole family. To an outsider looking in visually, they would never observe these traits. Conversely, within the family and inner circle, the family structure has a different perspective: Always present: Check-ins, daily or weekly, etc., to ensure there are no critical issues and space is given to the child or teen. It is not that they are uninvolved; instead, the parent is not as visually present in ways other families may be. Open communication: There may not be much verbal talking, but there is a clear understanding that "when you need me, I'll always be there," but I want you to learn independently. Guidance without training wheels: I'll be the parent overseeing you from a distance and let you learn from your own mistakes. Self-learning: The child has age-appropriate responsibilities and has to learn how to manage all of their obligations rather than relying on someone to tell them what to do and when to do it. UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders The next is where core parenting methods are missing without the parent even realizing it. This type of parenting is "UNaware to INsiders" because not only does it appear as though the parent is absent to individuals outside of the family, but here, family members inside the home feel it too. The parent or parents with this trait love, care, and would die for their own, much like with the "UNaware to OUTsiders," but the main difference is their child(ren) doesn't feel their parents would do that for them. It sounds rough, but the flip side is that the parents believe in their hearts that they are doing good. Usually, the parents will feel that they are giving their child abundant love. An example of this mindset is when the parent gets home from work. The parent will tell the child to play, thinking that's what a good, fun parent would do. In reality, the parent, even if subconsciously, wants downtime from work and doesn't want to tend to household duties. So in this hypothetical example, the average day for a mother to her young 4th-grade son could be: They wake up in the morning, the mom gets him breakfast and ready for school (food, clothing). After school and work, they make it back home, and Mom tells him to play and have fun until dinner, thinking that he would love to play and not do chores so she could relax for a few before cooking dinner. Then comes dinner (food), followed by getting him ready for bed (clothing) and, of course, keeping the roof over their heads (shelter). At the end of the day, mom believes she did an excellent job because she loves and adores her child, and she believes her son loves her just as much in return (and he probably does). The problem is she unwittingly only provided the three essential needs for all humans, neglecting what children and teenagers need the most: emotional support, guidance, and structure. Here are a few examples of the "UNinvolved & UNaware... to INsiders" parental classification: Distant parenting: The parent can primarily only be counted on in times of crisis and needs (not wants). Bare minimum requirements: (food, shelter, clothing) are met exceptionally well, with a sense of pride in doing them. Fun parent: Lack of as many responsibilities, plenty of play time (children), or freedom (teens) as long as it doesn't interfere with food, shelter, or clothing. Unpredictable Children: The child raises themself; thus, their social skills and emotions can become slightly more inconsistent than those raised in structured homes. UNinvolved & UNcaring Of all of the categories in this mini-series, this type of parenting screams toxic. Suppose you find yourself falling into this category. In that case, I suggest sitting down and reevaluating everything regarding being a mom or a dad and making an honest attempt to try changing for your child's sake. This subcategory is just what it sounds like. The parent is uninvolved in all aspects of life and puts other wants, needs, and obligations before their child. Luckily this type of parenting is far between, and when a parent does fall into this category, they will ensure they meet just enough for the child to continue to live (food, clothing, shelter), but not much more. Generally, when this sort of behavior becomes observed, it is because one or more of these are taking precedence over the child or teen: Selfishness: Work, significant others, friends, or hobbies become more important than their children. Mental Health: There is an underlying condition not treated, causing erratic decision-making regarding family. Drug/Alcohol abuse: Addiction to [whatever] has become more significant than the love, compassion, and responsibility for their child. "Accident" or "I don't like kids": Parents who never wanted a baby but do not believe in abortions, or if no moral obligations, did not give it away or abort it; instead, they just "dealt" with it, wanting nothing to do with the child on any level (emotional or physical). In Conclusion Depending on your outlook, there are issues with all three of these subcategories, especially "UNinvolved & UNcaring" whereas "UNinvoled & UNaware... to outsiders" appears pretty structured but hidden from view. The one thing to remember about all three of these, and what makes it why there is never a right way or wrong way to raise a child: Children were all brought up under one of those umbrellas of parenting, so it does seem (more) normal to them than perhaps someone else. They probably feel loved and cared for in their own way, even if it isn't the way you believe. All we can do as a parent is to try our best and guarantee our children that they are getting the absolute best from us, we are not perfect, but we strive to be because they are worth it. Continue Reading: PART III - The Great PRO³ Parenting advice: Raise them without avoiding conflict Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you need to catch up or skip ahead, the links below will take you to where you need to go! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI Throughout this series, we have focused on parenting skills, primarily allowing children to dictate the relationship. Today, we focus on the opposite, where the parents rule over every final decision in the relationship, with the child having little say in any affairs. When this is the case, and most, if not all, of the decisions, are run past the parent needing their approval before allowing the child or teen to do anything, it is typically classified as Authoritarian Parenting. A brief look at the primary characteristics of an Authoritarian Parent: The relationship between parent and child is primarily parent-driven Parents have stringent household rules for their children and harsh punishments to match Child's wants, along with their social and emotional life, come secondary, if ever considered Communication is typically one-way from parent to child, and when the child gets a voice, often it is not taken seriously or is ignored Jump to a section: >>> What THE? >>> THEatrics & THEory behind it >>> THEme of problems = answers in THErapy >>> THEft of growth means a rising THErmostat >>> Conclusion What THE? Sometimes parents wonder, "What the hell was that kid thinking?!" Other times their counterpart, the young minds, are left thinking, "What the heck do I have to do to make my parents happy?!" In an authoritarian family hierarchy, the parent and child seem to butt heads more than any other type of parenting. So I got to thinking, what THE hell is causing this?! Then I discovered it: What THE? THEatrics & THEory behind it In a home with an authoritarian parent, the parent is very much involved in their child's life. Typically it is an excellent thing and can be very beneficial. However, if the parents are not doing this correctly, meaning they do not keep themselves in check and aren't humbled to admit when they are becoming too controlling, it can lead to disaster, as so many times is the case. In an authoritarian relationship, parent-to-child, two things happen: 1) anything the child wants in life, they must go to their parents and either ask for it or permission to do it. 2) What the parent says goes; it becomes law regardless of how the child feels about it. The child's emotional, social, and other "non-essential" elements are often not considered. It boils down to the parents being in utter control of everything from the food eaten, to the friends they can have, to the music they can listen to. It can sound challenging, being under someone else's total control like that. However, the parent believes it's in the child's best interest because the parent has already gone through it (or has been raised that way and found it successful- or doesn't know any other way to raise a child). Therefore, they try to ensure the best path the first time (similar to PROmise & PROmote parenting from my previous post). The primary difference between PROmise & PROmote parenting and an authoritarian is that the authoritarian parent will not do anything for the child. Instead, they push them to achieve it independently while demanding excellence, giving the child the tools for problem-solving, overcoming adversity, and quality work ethics as they age. That's the THEory behind it from the parent's perspective- and it's all true! Unfortunately, the issue with that is yes, the child is learning by doing it; however, it stunts mental, emotional, and social growth. A child needs to be able to explore their likings and preferences to fully nurture them as they grow, which may include, in some instances, situations that the parent may typically say no to. If a parent does not allow their child to explore and enjoy some of their life's little pleasures, it can lead to the child acting out with THEatrics. The THEatrics are what causes parents and children/teens to butt heads so much. When an adolescent feels as though they have tried hard and accomplished a lot- and continue to try and do for their parents but does not get any reward, specifically something they want to do, it cause the child to act out. When this happens, it is primarily out of spite to attempt to make the parents feel miserable like them. THEme of problems = answers in THErapy Most of the time, the THEatrics come in the form of temper tantrums when the child is younger. However, as they grow and reach puberty and teenhood and the parents stand firm in an authoritarian manner, sparks tend to fly more frequently, and outbursts can become more prevalent. It isn't because the teen is trying to irritate their parents purposely; it is more because they lack the mental, emotional, and social necessities that a growing mind needs. Their minds have been developing and changing since a very young age, and they have been learning, imagining, exploring, and dreaming big the entire time. As time continues, so does the itch to explore the potential of new possibilities. Peers (including other issues such as peer pressure) also contribute to the need to want to fill the void and achieve happiness and excitement. This feeling does not come naturally in authoritarian homes, so teens tend to act out more and clash more than the other three major parental categories. As friction builds and the teen develops an attitude, parents blame the child, their friends, and their influences. In the eyes of the parent, the child should be perfect because the parents raised them in their image (or at least the best vision they could imagine). Unfortunately, this is not the case because everybody has their tastes, personalities, and preferences. Between this misinformed mindset (in many cases) and the disposition of an authoritarian parent's firmness in situations, it becomes a common THEme for the parent to find fault in the child. Conversely, the child feels the THEme of their relationship is that they are at fault, but only because they cannot fully understand where the parent is coming from. In a relationship where both parent and child are rather bull-headed regarding their outlook and perspectives on life, THErapy could be required. There are different versions of THErapy, especially since, depending on your background, faith, and beliefs in THErapy, talking with someone may or may not work. Parental Mandate: Parents will take the child to THErapy, even if it's just in hopes the therapist will tell the child the parent is right and they are wrong Child Request: The child/Teen asks for THErapy because they cannot go to anyone for help (one-way communication parent to child) or to ask the therapist for assistance in talking to their parents on their behalf Bonding THErapy: Finding a common fun interest that both the parent and child enjoy, or something nostalgic from happier times, and then taking time to hash issues out Bias THErapy: Talking to someone else, usually another (not immediate) family member, for advice. Considered biased because whoever the "therapist" is, one party or the other will have a prejudiced outcome based on the "therapist's" history with the people or wisdom of situations. THEft of growth means a rising THErmostat Nothing cranks up the THErmostat better than constant fighting while one party yells, punishes, or commands the other to do something they do not want. On the flip side, nothing adds to the twist of the dial, making it even hotter than a young teen who has been severely punished and begins to feel like they have lost all they cherish. That becomes a slippery slope because when young teens start not to care about consequences, they understand (or better put: they feel) they have little left to lose. The parental outlook becomes THEft. The parents take a step back, look at the situation, and believe their child has stolen from them since they are not acting like the child they raised. The parent will begin to feel that all their hard work has been a waste and that their child, who they still love deeply, has stolen their prized sculpture of the "mini-me." Conversely, the child or teen will look into the parent's eyes and think the same: THEft. They will think, "You stole my childhood from me; I was always doing what you wanted." Even when the child realizes and understands much of what their parents have done for them was in their best interest, at that point, it does not justify not allowing them to live their life the way they wanted to. In Conclusion Authoritarian parenting is by far the trickiest of them because of the intricacies of it. An excellent moral system is usually in place, and parenting is typically done in the child's best interest in the long term (prepping them for life/the real world). However, the downfall is not allowing the child to be themselves, stunting personality and emotional growth. The tradeoff is they are now a miniature you, whether they like it or not. Note that "whether they like it or not" is critically dangerous for individuality, self-confidence, and self-worth. Coupled with growing up and frequently clashing, that could be catastrophic if not careful. Continue Reading: PART V - HA! HA! HA! Parenting advice: Raise them with balance Catch up on the series: PART I - What kind R U? Parenting advice: Raise them without being overbearing, absent, or avoiding conflict PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent PART III - The Great PRO³ Parenting advice: Raise them without avoiding conflict Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

This series is designed (but not necessary) to be read chronologically; if you have already read this post, or are looking for something specific in the series, below are links to the other 5 articles in the 6-part series! What Kind R U? Parenting Series: PART I The Big UNcubed Parenting Series: PART II The Great PRO³ - Parenting Series: PART III What THE? - Parenting Series: PART IV HA! HA! HA! - Parenting Series: PART V UNderstand PROblems THEy HAve - Parenting Series: PART VI PART I - Parental Classifications One of the most asked questions asked by parents, especially new parents, is, "Am I doing this right?!" as they sit there lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep while their mind races from thought to thought and how well their child is doing in life. I'm here to tell you, you will never achieve perfection, but as long as they have a good sense of morals and decision-making, they are unique in their personality, and they follow their passions and dreams, they will be just fine in life. In this mini-series, we will explore the four main types of parenting, the pros and cons, along with tips and tricks. So--- What Kind R U? Here are the four primary classifications: 1. Neglectful Parenting It may sound rough, saying you could be a "neglectful" person- especially regarding your child- but it doesn't mean you don't love and care for them. The primary characteristics include the following: Absent, uninvolved, and freedom-giving Guidance and emotional support are rare Indifferent to the nourishing of their social, behavioral, and emotional life Basic needs are the parent's primary role (food, shelter, clothing) 2. Permissive Parenting This style has become more popular recently with the assistance of social media and various human rights movements, concentrating on their child's needs in excess. Characteristics of a permissive parent include: Parent/child relationship is primarily child-driven (Over)indulges their child with rewards to dodge conflicts There are very few rules; they are very inconstantly enforced or not enforced at all Parents are very nourishing to their children but find it challenging to impose limitations and boundaries 3. Authoritarian Parenting Although firm and rigid, this type of parenting is still fairly popular for many reasons, including how the parent was raised, culture, religion, and nationality. In recent years, however, this style has declined as more parents find permissive parenting a compelling choice. A few traits of an authoritarian parent are: Parent/child relationship is primarily parent-driven Very rigid and strict household rules that set very harsh punishments Indifferent to the nourishing of their social and emotional life Communication is typically one-way from parent to child 4. Authoritative Parenting Authoritative parenting has been best described as a happy medium between the permissive and authoritarian styles, pulling from the best of both worlds. Parents strive for this most popular type, even if they fall short and land in another category. Some of the key points are: Parents are responsive, supportive, and nurturing Sets firm rules set in the home; parents are willing to listen and reason but don't necessarily always accept what the child has to say Uses open communication and natural consequences for wrongdoings Attempt to mold their child's growth and behavior by taking an interest and explaining, discussing, and reasoning with them as they do good and bad Is there a right or wrong answer? By no means is there a correct answer; this is only a list compiled by many psychologists and colleges worldwide. I will be the first to tell you I have found myself falling short of what class I WANT to be in compared to what category I AM in. However, MY style is not, nor should it be, any of those particular structured styles. That is what makes me an individual and a one-of-a-kind parent. Perfect? Far from it. Comfortable in my skin? Indeed, and very proud to be. In Conclusion Every one of those four parenting styles has its own set of pros and set cons too. Yes, some are better than others, but I can assure you not one of them is wrong; much of it comes down to your own beliefs, upbringing, religion, ethnicity, nationality, and many other circumstances unique to you. So the question becomes, What Kind R U? In the next part of this mini-series, we will dive into neglectful parenting. Continue Reading: PART II - The Big UNcubed Parenting advice: Raise them without being absent Love it? Share it! (links to share below) Make sure they know where it came from #curlystacheblogs 👌 Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️

You probably remember the moment everything finally became too much. The argument. The tears. The day you could not get out of bed. The afternoon you stared at one ordinary task and felt as if it belonged to someone else's life. The moment you shut down, called out, canceled everything, or finally admitted that you could not keep going. That moment may have felt sudden. Often, it was not. Your patience had been thinning for days. Your shoulders never seemed to come down. Noise started feeling personal. A harmless request landed like one demand too many. You began dreading things you normally handled without much thought. You kept promising yourself you would stop after one more task, one more message, one more problem, one more person. Then something gave. That does not mean you should have predicted exactly what was coming. Human beings are not warning systems with clean dashboards. Sometimes a bad day is just a bad day. Sometimes you are tired, you sleep, and the weight lifts. Sometimes you handle more than you thought you could and come through it feeling steady. But sometimes you did notice. You noticed, and you decided it was not bad enough yet. Not bad enough to cancel. Not bad enough to ask for help. Not bad enough to leave something unfinished. Not bad enough to disappoint anyone. Not bad enough to stop. The problem is not always that you failed to notice the warning. Sometimes you noticed and kept asking it to prove itself. You Probably Noticed Earlier Falling apart usually gets remembered as one event. The slammed door. The missed shift. The panic in the parking lot. The morning your body refused to follow the plan your mind had already made. The conversation where your voice sounded unlike you. The night you realized you had been holding yourself together with habit and adrenaline, and neither one had much left. That final moment is loud, so it gets all the attention. What came before it may have been much quieter. You were more irritated than usual. You kept avoiding one simple thing because even thinking about it made you tired. You lost your place while reading the same paragraph three times. You wanted everyone to stop asking questions. You started treating every small inconvenience like a personal attack, even when you knew it was not one. You kept saying, "I just need to get through this week," even though you had said the same thing the week before. Because those signs looked ordinary, they were easy to dismiss. You were tired, but everyone gets tired. You were overwhelmed, but the work still had to get done. You needed space, but not badly enough to inconvenience anyone. You wanted a break, but the calendar did not seem impressed. So you kept answering yourself with the same two words: Not yet. Sometimes that answer is reasonable. Life does not pause every time we feel uncomfortable, and every difficult feeling does not require a dramatic response. You may notice tension, finish what you need to finish, sleep well, and wake up feeling better. The trouble begins when "not yet" becomes the only answer your needs ever receive. You were not necessarily waiting to feel better. You may have been waiting for your struggle to become impossible to argue with. Your needs should not have to pull the fire alarm before you believe there is smoke in the room. Why Falling Apart Can Feel Safer Than Stopping There is an uncomfortable kind of relief in reaching the point where you cannot continue. Not because falling apart feels good. Not because you wanted the damage. Not because you secretly planned the crash. The relief comes from the argument finally being over. You no longer have to explain why you need rest. You no longer have to decide whether the problem is serious enough. You no longer have to disappoint someone voluntarily. You no longer have to defend the unfinished work, the changed plan, the unanswered message, or the thing you could not carry. You finally have proof. "I could not keep going" may feel easier to say than, "I chose not to keep hurting myself to finish this." Both statements lead to a stop. Emotionally, they can feel completely different. The first one removes the choice. The second asks you to make a choice while guilt is still arguing back. That is why being forced to stop can feel safer. Not safer for your body. Not safer for your relationships, your work, or your life. Safer from guilt. If the decision has already been made by exhaustion, illness, panic, anger, or complete shutdown, you do not have to trust your own judgment. You do not have to decide that your needs matter. The situation has become undeniable enough to decide for you. Sometimes falling apart feels like permission because it is the first moment you no longer have to defend your need to stop. That does not mean you caused it. It means you may trust an unavoidable stop more than a chosen one. And that is worth noticing, because self-care cannot only begin after your choices have disappeared. Being Needed Can Make Self-Neglect Look Responsible Being needed can feel good. It can give your day structure. It can remind you that you matter to someone. It can feel like love, purpose, loyalty, or proof that you are dependable. You may be the person who answers. The person who remembers. The person who handles the ugly details. The person who stays calm when everyone else starts spinning. The person who keeps the plans moving, the bills straight, the children cared for, the family connected, the friendship alive, or one particular person from feeling alone. It may be a whole household. It may be a workplace. It may be one person whose mood, schedule, comfort, or stability seems to depend on your availability. That role can become part of who you are. It can also make self-neglect look responsible. Being needed can make self-neglect look responsible. You keep answering because they need you. You keep agreeing because somebody has to do it. You keep carrying the extra piece because handing it back would create a problem. You keep delaying your own care because your needs feel easier to postpone than theirs. And sometimes the people around you are not exploiting you. They may not know what it costs you to keep showing up. They may assume you will say something if the weight becomes too much. They may be willing to help, but you have become so practiced at carrying everything that you no longer know how to hand anything over. Sometimes nobody demanded the sacrifice. Sometimes you learned to offer it before anyone could ask. Being useful may feel safer than needing something. It may earn praise, prevent conflict, or help you feel secure in a relationship. If people admire you for never needing much, it can become difficult to admit that the strength they rely on is running out. But someone else's care cannot permanently depend on your disappearance from your own life. Taking care of yourself may disappoint someone temporarily. They may have to wait. A plan may have to change. Someone may need to solve a problem without you. That discomfort is real. So is this: waiting until you collapse may remove your ability to show up at all. That is not selfishness. That is math with a pulse. The Pause You Postpone Does Not Disappear Ignored needs do not always become disasters. That matters enough to say plainly. Not every headache is an emergency in disguise. Not every bad mood is the opening scene of a breakdown. Not every exhausting day means something larger is wrong. Sometimes tired means tired. Sometimes you sleep, eat, breathe, talk it out, or simply reach the end of the day, and the feeling passes. Responding early is not about treating every uncomfortable moment like a catastrophe waiting for its cue. It is about noticing when the same need keeps returning and you keep sending it away. Because the pause you postpone does not always disappear. Sometimes it returns with fewer choices attached. The irritation you keep swallowing leaks into your tone. The short break you refuse becomes the day you cannot function. The task you avoid because it feels manageable enough to delay grows teeth while it waits. The conversation you keep postponing finally happens after resentment has already written half the script. The tension you carry all afternoon follows you into bed and starts tomorrow before you do. The plan you refused to change becomes the week you have to cancel. The pause you keep postponing can return as a stop you do not get to schedule. That is not a threat. It is not a promise that something terrible will happen if you do not respond perfectly. Nobody gets that kind of guarantee. You can notice early, make responsible changes, ask for support, and still become overwhelmed. Life can pile on faster than anyone can organize it. Bodies get sick. Circumstances become impossible. Grief, trauma, money, caregiving, work, and family emergencies do not always leave room for a graceful response. The goal is not to predict every collapse. The goal is to stop requiring one before you believe that something is already hard. Care does not require certainty. You do not need proof that the worst will happen before responding to what is happening now. Before You Become the Emergency You should not have to become the emergency before your needs count. Your needs counted before you snapped. Before you became physically unable to continue. Before someone else noticed. Before the work suffered. Before you had evidence strong enough to show anyone. Before the situation looked serious from the outside. They counted when you first realized you were not doing well. They counted when you wanted a pause but could not explain why. They counted when you started dreading the day before it began. They counted when you heard yourself say, "I cannot keep doing this," then edited it into, "I am probably just tired." You should not have to become the emergency before your needs count. Stopping earlier is not proof that you are weak. It is not laziness. It is not drama. It is not failure. It is not evidence that you cannot handle life. It is noticing that something is asking for attention while you still have choices about how to answer. Early care is not overreacting. It is responding before pain has to become persuasive. Self-care is not only what happens after the crash. It is not just the recovery day, the appointment after everything becomes unmanageable, the apology after you finally explode, or the quiet room you enter after your body has already taken you out of the argument. I wish I could say I understand this because I always noticed early and responded well. I don't. I know this pattern from the inside. I have kept moving past warning signs until they were no longer asking quietly and the decision to stop was no longer fully mine. I know what it can cost when care begins only after the situation becomes impossible to deny. That is part of why I believe this so strongly: your needs count before they become visible to everyone else. Self-care can happen earlier. It can happen when the need is still quiet enough to question. That is often the hardest moment to trust, because there is no dramatic proof yet. You may still be functioning. You may still be answering messages, showing up, laughing at the right places, making dinner, finishing work, and convincing everyone around you that you are fine. Including yourself. But functioning is not the same as being okay. And continuing is not always proof that continuing is harmless. You are allowed to respond before the damage becomes your evidence. Answer One Warning Before It Starts Screaming You do not need to turn this into a new monitoring system for everything that could ever go wrong. You do not need another routine to maintain, another app to check, or another reason to study yourself like a problem. Start with one question: What have you already noticed that you are still arguing with? Maybe it is the knot in your stomach every time a certain name appears on your phone. Maybe it is the way you spend every weekend recovering from the week instead of living in it. Maybe it is the appointment you keep moving because hearing an answer would make the problem feel real. Maybe it is the extra responsibility you keep accepting because saying no might change how people see you. Maybe it is the hobby you stopped because every free hour now gets donated to something urgent. Maybe it is the sentence, "I cannot keep doing this," that you keep translating into, "I am just having a rough day." You do not have to solve the whole pattern tonight. Answer one thing you already know. That might mean saying, "I can help tomorrow, but I cannot do this tonight." It might mean asking someone else to handle one pickup, one call, one meal, one problem, or one hour. It might mean keeping a work cutoff for one evening, even though something remains unfinished. It might mean telling a doctor, therapist, caseworker, friend, or trusted person, "This has been getting harder," without waiting until you can explain it perfectly. It might mean stopping yourself from volunteering for the next responsibility before you begin resenting everyone involved. It might mean making a backup plan for the part of your life you cannot simply walk away from. The response should match the need. Not every warning means abandon the day. Sometimes care takes ten quiet minutes. Sometimes it means food, movement, company, solitude, medication, sleep, a boundary, a conversation, or practical help. Sometimes it means admitting that the situation has moved beyond something you can carry privately. And what helps one person may make another person feel worse. For one person, answering the message brings relief. For another, waiting until morning is the healthier choice. For one person, time alone restores something. For another, isolation is where the problem grows. Your self-care does not have to look like somebody else's self-care. It has to honestly help the person living your life. If ordinary days have become consistently difficult to manage, if distress feels unbearable, or if you feel like you might hurt yourself, please reach for immediate support. Contact someone you trust, a doctor or therapist, emergency services, a local crisis line, or call or text 988 in the United States. You do not need a polished explanation before you are allowed to ask for help. You Are Allowed to Stop While It Is Still a Choice You will not notice everything early. Sometimes you will understand the warning only after the damage is done. Sometimes circumstances will not let you stop when you first need to. A child still needs care. The shift still has hours left. The rent still has to be paid. The emergency belongs to someone else, and you are the person standing closest to it. In those moments, self-care may not mean leaving everything behind. It may mean stopping yourself from adding one more thing. It may mean asking who can cover part of the weight. It may mean saying out loud that you are reaching your limit instead of hoping someone notices. It may mean deciding what can wait, what can be done imperfectly, and what needs support beyond you. One unfinished thing is not the same as abandoning your life. Disappointing someone is not automatically the same as harming them. Needing help is not evidence that you have failed the people who need you. The goal is not perfect self-awareness. It is not preventing every hard day. It is not guaranteeing that you will never become overwhelmed again. The goal is to stop requiring collapse as the only evidence you are willing to believe. You are allowed to believe yourself before everyone else can see it. You are allowed to leave something unfinished while you still have enough of yourself left to return to it. You are allowed to care for yourself even if someone else would have preferred more from you. You are allowed to stop while stopping is still a choice. You do not have to wait until your pain speaks loudly enough for everyone else to hear it. You can answer while it is still speaking to you. You are allowed to care before the damage becomes your evidence. You do not have to become the emergency.

written by: Daniel Currie editing and proofreading by: Jacasa Currie Mashup Dedicated to Jacasa Currie Guiding Teenagers Bite-Size 4-minute Blogs, best known as GT Mashups No fancy formats. Opinionated. Based On Facts. Whether you are a stressed parent navigating this thing they call parenthood, a teenager simply trying to figure out their preferences in life, or someone in between, this is a PSA just for you. In our first post of Season 5, we launch with our fan-favorite Mashup style blog: the shorter, laid-back, and more opinion-based blog, where formats are anything but mandatory. Regardless, in this Mashup, we dive into the concept that is vital to the mind and soul, regardless of your age. The only age criteria for this post is anyone who dares to dream! Now, without further ado, enjoy this first episode with some intense passion! Table of Contents Now you must be thinking, WTF? What does this guy mean by saying, "Enjoy this first episode with some intense passion!" Intense passion? Yeah, you read correctly—intense passion. This Mashup will explain how and why intense passion is vital for a healthy and happy life—regardless of parenting status! To clarify, when I say "intense passion," it's the kind of passion that makes your heart race, your eyes sparkle, and your soul catch fire. Face it: life is too short to live any other way, and if you've been tiptoeing through your days, it's time to wake up and start running. Passion-driven living isn't just a concept; it's a lifestyle, a mindset, a damn good way to turn the ordinary into extraordinary. Why Intense Passion Matters Let's face it: life can be mundane. It's easy to fall into a routine, doing the same things day in and day out until the days blur into weeks—even months, and years. But what if, instead of just going through the motions, you started living with purpose and intense passion? That's when life stops being something that happens to you and starts being something you create, shape, and fiercely own. Passion-driven people don't wait for life to hand them an invitation; they kick down the door and, in a fit of emotional passion, scream, "Here I am, make some noise because you might as well get busy living, or you might as well get busy dying!" They feel every experience deeply, savor every victory, and embrace every challenge with a fire that refuses to be extinguished. Finding Your Passion Now, you might be thinking, "That's all well and good, but what if I don't know what I'm passionate about?" The truth is, not everyone is born knowing exactly what sets their soul on fire. And that's okay! Finding your passion is a journey, not a destination. Start by exploring what interests you. Maybe it's parenting, perhaps it's writing blogs, or maybe it's your career. Regardless, take note of the things that make you lose track of time, the activities that fill you with energy and joy. Experiment, try new things, fail, and try again. Passion-driven living isn't about finding one thing and sticking to it forever; it's about continuously exploring and discovering new aspects of yourself and the world around you. Embracing Intensity in Everyday Life Living with intense passion doesn't mean you have to quit your job, sell all your belongings, and move to a cabin in the woods (unless that's what you're into—then go for it!). It's about infusing your everyday life with meaning and purpose. It's about doing whatever you do—whether it's your job, your hobbies, your relationships—with a full heart and unwavering dedication. If you're a parent, be the most passionate, involved, and loving parent you can be. If you're a student, dive into your studies with curiosity and enthusiasm. If you're a barista, make that cup of coffee like it's the most important thing you'll do all day. Passion-driven living is about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary and never settling for anything less than what sets your soul on fire. Overcoming Obstacles to Passion Let's get real for a minute: living with intense passion isn't always easy. There will be obstacles—fear, doubt, criticism from others, and sometimes even the dreaded burnout. But here's the thing: nothing worth having ever comes easy. When you commit to a passion-driven life, you learn to see these obstacles not as roadblocks but as stepping stones. You embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. When the going gets tough, you dig deep, fuel your fire with your unwavering love for what you do, and keep pushing forward. Passion-driven people are resilient because their passion gives them the strength to overcome anything life throws their way. Connecting with Like-Minded Souls One of the beautiful things about living with intense passion is that it naturally attracts like-minded individuals. Passion is contagious. When you're truly passionate about something, people can't help but be drawn to your energy. Surround yourself with people who share your enthusiasm for life, who encourage you to chase your dreams, and who celebrate your victories with the same joy as their own. Passion-driven living isn't just about finding your path; it's about building a community of people who inspire and uplift each other. It's about creating a network of intense passion that fuels creativity, collaboration, and genuine human connection. With that said, since our blogs typically specialize in raising teens, it is worth noting that it is vital to let your teen (or teens) explore their passions, allowing them to press forward with intensity—and, crucially, without judgment. Making Every Moment Count At the end of the day, living with intense passion is about making every moment, every day, count. It's about waking up each morning excited for what the day will bring. It's finding like-minded people to elevate your feelings and joy that much more, knowing there is no limit to those intense feelings. And it's about ending each day with a sense of fulfillment, knowing you gave it your all. Passion-driven people don't live for the weekends or the next vacation; they find joy in the here and now. They understand that life is a series of moments, and it's up to them to make each one as meaningful as possible. So, take a deep breath, put your heart into whatever you do, and start living a passion-driven life today. Conclusion: Your Passion-Driven Journey Starts Now Life isn't about waiting for the perfect moment; it's about making the moment perfect with your intense passion. It's about taking whatever you're doing, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, and doing it with everything you've got. Whether you're pursuing a lifelong dream, tackling a new hobby, or simply navigating the daily grind, do it with purpose, do it with fire, and do it with intense passion. Because that's how you turn an ordinary life into an extraordinary adventure. So go out there and live like you mean it. Be bold, be brave, and be unapologetically passion-driven. The world is waiting for you to set it on fire. Love it? Share it! (links below the written date/references!) Make sure they know where it came from 👌 #GuidingTeenagers #CurlyStacheBlogs #BloomingThoughts Take me back to more blog articles! ✒️ Take me home 🏠 Back to the top ⬆️ Originally Written on: January 20, 2025